Whether you are Married, Engaged, Living Together or still thinking about it, your relationship is the single most important aspect of your life and yet you, like so many of us, probably didn’t get much in the way of an education about HOW to have a happy relationship.
This article contains a summary of three of the most vital contributors toward long-term success in your relationship. If you want to know more after reading this, please drop me an email or give me a call!
1. A HAPPY HOME DOES NOT JUST HAPPEN—YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR IT.
Sure, your grandparents might have made it look easy but times have changed and so have the expectations of most couples. While simply keeping a home and raising the children was enough in days gone by, the modern couple wants to experience emotional intimacy and fulfillment. Ourrelationships can last a long time too due to increasing life-spans. Combine that with the fact that society is moving at an ever faster pace and you need to have a plan for coping with changing needs, desires and lifestyles.
Sure, your grandparents might have made it look easy but times have changed and so have the expectations of most couples. While simply keeping a home and raising the children was enough in days gone by, the modern couple wants to experience emotional intimacy and fulfillment. Ourrelationships can last a long time too due to increasing life-spans. Combine that with the fact that society is moving at an ever faster pace and you need to have a plan for coping with changing needs, desires and lifestyles.
2. NEVER BEGIN A SENTENCE WITH THE WORD “YOU.”
Try this experiment: start a sentence with the word “You” and then change the sentence so it begins with the world “I.” Can you feel a shift in your energy? When we start a sentence with the word “You” our partner has a really hard time hearing us because they are too focused on how they are going to “defend” themselves from what sounds like an accusation. Learn to begin all your sentences with the word “I.”
Try this experiment: start a sentence with the word “You” and then change the sentence so it begins with the world “I.” Can you feel a shift in your energy? When we start a sentence with the word “You” our partner has a really hard time hearing us because they are too focused on how they are going to “defend” themselves from what sounds like an accusation. Learn to begin all your sentences with the word “I.”
3. SHARE YOUR FEELINGS OR LOSE YOUR LOVE LIFE
We all find ourselves choking back what we really feel in an effort to avoid conflict. It’s a natural response and if we ever thought to be honest we have probably been taught to “say nothing if you can’t say something nice.” That’s pretty good advice when it comes to superficial friendships, co-workers and especially a boss or a teacher. But it is a lousy way to conduct a long-term romantic relationship. What usually happens is that the few times you are honest with your partner leads to a big fight and from then on you decide “it isn’t worth an argument..” That’s a reasonable conclusion—after all who wants to argue? But it has an unexpected side effect.
We all find ourselves choking back what we really feel in an effort to avoid conflict. It’s a natural response and if we ever thought to be honest we have probably been taught to “say nothing if you can’t say something nice.” That’s pretty good advice when it comes to superficial friendships, co-workers and especially a boss or a teacher. But it is a lousy way to conduct a long-term romantic relationship. What usually happens is that the few times you are honest with your partner leads to a big fight and from then on you decide “it isn’t worth an argument..” That’s a reasonable conclusion—after all who wants to argue? But it has an unexpected side effect.
Your passion is directly tied to how authentic you think you can be with your partner. This is the REAL reason men and women have affairs. They are not bored or restless. Instead, they crave someone they can tell their secrets and more importantly feel understood and appreciated. When you stop telling the truth to your partner, you in effect kill your sex life. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually you will find yourself wondering what happened to the passion. This is such a common event most people think it is inevitable. But I am here to tell you that your sex life should be getting hotter with each passing year. If it isn’t then you are missing out on one of the sweetest rewards of a long-term relationship.
I know you still don’t want to argue. You don’t have to. But you DO need to know how to Problem Solve. I can teach you how.
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